wishes to guide, He opens his heart to Islam.
Ta'ala has given great rights to the husband and has attached a lot of
virtue to him. Pleasing the husband and keeping him happy is a great act
of 'ibadah and displeasing him or keeping him unhappy is a major sin.
Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said...
The woman who offers her five times salat, fasts in the month of
Ramadan, protects her
honour and respect, and obeys her husband has the choice of entering
jannah from whichever door she wishes to enter from." This means that from
the eight doors of jannah she can enter through whichever door she wishes
without even having to knock on that door.
The woman who passes
away in such a state that her husband is pleased with her will enter jannah."
to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allah, I would have
commanded the woman to prostrate to her husband. If the husband orders his
wife to carry the boulders of one mountain to the next mountain, and the
boulders of the next mountain to a third mountain, she will have to do
husband calls his wife, she should go immediately to him even if she is
busy at her stove." In other words, no matter how important a task she may
be busy with, she should leave it and go to him.
man calls his wife to engage in sexual intercourse with him and she does
not go and because of this he sleeps away angrily, the angels continue
cursing this woman till the morning."
When a woman
troubles or displeases her husband in this world, the hūr of jannah
that has been set aside for him says: "May Allah curse you! Do not
trouble him. He is your guest for a few days. Soon he will leave you
and come to me."
There are three
types of people whose salat is not accepted, nor is any other good act
of theirs accepted. One is a slave who runs away from his master. The
second is a woman whose husband is displeased with her. The third is a
person who is in a state of intoxication."
A person asked...
Who is the best woman?" Rasulullah sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam replied: "The best woman is one who pleases her
husband when he looks at her, when he asks her to do something she
obeys him, and she does not do anything that may displease him with
regard to his wealth and honour." One of the rights of the husband is that the wife should not keep any
optional fasts nor offer any optional salat in his presence without
his permission. Among the rights of the husband is that she should not
remain in an untidy, disheveled state. Instead, she should always
remain clean and beautiful for her husband. In fact, if she remains
untidy and disheveled despite her husband ordering her to remain
clean, he has the right of beating her (lightly) in order that she may
obey him. Another right of the husband is that she should not leave
the house without his permission irrespective of whether it be the
house of a friend, relative or anyone else.
It is mentioned in a Hadith...
That the greatest right that a woman
has to fulfil is to her husband, and that the greatest right that he
has to fulfil is to his mother. In other words, after the rights of
Allah and His Rasūl sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the woman has a very
great right to fulfil to her husband, so much so that the husband's
rights supersede the rights of her parents. As for the man, after the
rights of Allah and His Rasūl sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the
greatest right that he has to fulfil is to his mother. We learn from
this that the right of the mother supersedes that of the father.
That when the husband and wife look at
each other (with love), Allah Ta'ala looks at both of them with mercy.
In view of Ahadiths-e-Nabvi
Rights of the Husband
The sexual rights of the husband are also elucidated in the traditions,
but the language is such that it appears that his rights supersede those
of his wife. For example, in Bukhari, AbuHuraira reports that the Prophet
said, "If a man invites his wife to sleep with him and she refuses, then
the angels send their curses on her till morning." (Vol. 7, No. 121-2; in
Muslim, the text reads that God is displeased with her until the husband
is pleased with her Nos. 3366-68). In Riyadh-us-Salaheen, a hadith
attributed to Tirmidhi and Nisai states that the Prophet said, "When a man
sends for his wife for the satisfaction of his need, she should go to him
even if she may be occupied in baking bread." (No. 284) Similarly, Muslim
women are advised not to fast without the permission of their husbands
since fasting would interfere with sexual relations (Sunan Abu Dawud, Nos.
2452-3; Muslim, Nos. 3366-68; Bukhari, Vol.7, No. 120).
Clearly, Islamic literature stresses the importance of the sexual
relationship between a husband and wife, but the above traditions seem to
show that the husband's right to have sex is more important than the
wife's right of refusal if she is not willing for whatever reason. The
only time she can refuse intercourse, then, is during menstruation. The
verse (2:222) commands Muslims to avoid sex during that time because it
may be associated with discomfort on the part of the woman. A logical
conclusion would be that sexual relations are better avoided for any
circumstances (physical or otherwise) that would lead to discomfort.
A common view of sex is that the stronger sexual urges of men (compared to
women) can be controlled only to a certain extent; according to some, this
justifies the practice of polygamy even though the Qur'an makes no mention
of sexual desires in the verses on polygamy (4:3-5). Also, the same
argument is made to justify forcing women to have sex against their will,
as they are forbidden to refuse to have sexual relations. Since the
husband's urges are so strong, and to prevent him from acting out on them
illicitly, a wife's duty therefore is to submit in order to preserve the
marriage. Yet, human beings are endowed with self control not seen in any
other species, such that we do not act on every instinctual impulse
because of some uncontrollable force. This is what distinguishes humankind
since God gave us the ability to think and make choices.
Therefore, there is no justification for forcing women to have sex against
their will, even in marriage. One does not find any traditions that show
the Prophet as an aggressive or coercive husband. Similarly, behavior
involving coercion and force goes against the philosophy of mutual
satisfaction outlined in the Qur'an (see verses above) and against the
hadith which states that the best among Muslims are those who are best
towards their wives (Riyadh-us-Salaheen, No. 278). Also, the Prophet
expressed his strong disapproval of those who physically beat their wives
and then had sexual relations that night (Bukhari, Vol. 7, No. 132, Vol.9,
81-82; see also Riyadh us-Salaheen, No. 274).
Sexual Rights of the Wife
Several hadith also address the issue of sexual satisfaction with
reference to the wife's rights in this matter. The Prophet advised
Abdullah bin Amr bin Al-As (who spent all day fasting and all night in
prayer) to fast sometimes and not at other times; to pray at night and to
sleep at night. "Your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right
over you and your wife has a right over you." (Bukhari, Vol.7, No. 127)
The wife's rights include a right to companionship from her husband and
fulfillment of her sexual needs.
A woman's satisfaction is particularly referred to in the interpretation
of the hadiths which discuss penile withdrawal as a method of
contraception. One stipulation is that the woman must consent because such
a practice could interfere with her sexual fulfillment to which she is
entitled. Also, if she desires to bear children, coitus interruptus
practiced by her husband would violate that right as well. This viewpoint
is based on a hadith transmitted by Umar ibn-al-Khattab who said that the
Prophet forbade the practice of coitus interruptus with a woman except
with her permission This reference is found in Sex and Society in Islam,
by B. F. Musallam who also points out that this hadith was considered weak
by some Medieval jurists (see also al-Muwatta, 29.34, No. 100).
Nevertheless, the position regarding the woman's right to orgasm was
developed over time by several Muslim jurists during the same period (Busallam,
Chapter 2 and footnotes). Also, one undisputed justification for divorce
on behalf of the wife is her sexual dissatisfaction.
The most explicit discussions of sexual relations with respect to
fulfilling the wife's needs are found in the Book on the Etiquette of
Marriage, part of Abu Hamid Al-Ghazali's larger work, Revival of the
Religious Sciences (Ihya Ulum al-Din), written in the eleventh century. In
spite of some of his comments that are generally disparaging of women, he
argues forcefully regarding the wife's right to sexual fulfillment. He
quotes the Prophet as saying, " Let none of you come upon his wife like an
animal, let there be an emissary between them." When asked what is the
emissary, he replied, "The kiss and sweet words." In another hadith, the
Prophet points out that one of the deficiencies of a man is that "he
should approach his wife and have sexual contact with her before
exchanging words and caresses, consequently, he sleeps with her and
fulfills his needs (i.e. orgasm) before she fulfills hers." Al-Ghazali
further elaborates on the importance of a woman achieving orgasm by
stating, "Congruence in attaining a climax is more gratifying to her
because the man is not preoccupied with his own pleasure, but rather with