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Brand New Dictionary
Marketing
Brand New Dictionary
(alphabetically listed)
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Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.
-
Boss:
Someone who is
early when you are late and late when you are early.
-
Cigarette:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the
other.
-
Classic:
A book which people praise, but do
not read.
-
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing
can be done together.
-
Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the
biggest piece.
-
Conference:
The
confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
-
Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later
on.
-
Criminal:
A guy no
different from the rest... Except that he got caught.
-
Dictionary:
A place where divorce comes before marriage.
-
Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to
hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
-
Divorce:
Future tense of marriage.
-
Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by
pills, and kills you with his bills.
-
Ecstasy:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt
before.
-
Etc: A sign to make others believe that
you know more than you actually do.
-
Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.
-
Father:
A banker provided by nature.
-
Lecture:
An art of
transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the
students without passing through the minds of either.
-
Love affairs:
Something
like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day
test.
-
Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains
her master.
-
Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
-
Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
-
Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
-
Optimist:
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not
injured yet.
-
Pessimist:
A person who says that O is the last letter in zerO, Instead of the first
letter in word Opportunity.
-
Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
-
Politician:
One who shakes your hand before
elections and your confidence after.
-
Rumor:
News that travels at the speed of
sound.
-
Smile:
A curve that can
set a lot of things straight.
-
Tears:
The hydraulic force by which
masculine power is defeated by feminine power.
-
Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Marketing
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you and says, "He's very
rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.
You open the door for her; pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a
ride, and then say,
"By the way, I'm very rich. Will you marry me?"
That's Public Relationing.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich."
That's Brand Recognitioning.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me".
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback!!!!
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